The Ultimate Guide to Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Making Conversations Comfortable, Regular, and Meaningful

As parents, we all want to ensure our children grow up with healthy relationships, positive body images, and a strong understanding of sex and puberty. But for many, talking about sex can feel awkward or uncomfortable—if not downright intimidating. You’re not alone if the thought of having “the talk” with your kids makes you cringe. But the truth is, you’re already teaching them something, whether you realize it or not.

The Silent Influence: You Are Always Teaching

Studies show that 70% of what a young adult believes about their bodies, relationships, and sexuality comes from their parents. This includes everything from your open conversations to the silent messages you send through your actions, attitudes, and body language. Even when you're not saying anything at all, your children are absorbing your unspoken messages about sex, relationships, and self-worth.

That’s a pretty big deal—because even when you’re not talking about these topics, you’re shaping their sexual education. So, the question becomes: why not make sure you’re having a positive influence?

Overcoming the Awkwardness: How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

A lot of parents don’t talk to their kids about sex because they simply don’t know how to start the conversation. It can feel awkward to broach these topics out of the blue, and even if you're trying your best, it can be difficult to find the right words. The idea of talking about puberty, sex, or relationships can feel like an overwhelming task.

Some parents even hope that their kids will just get good information in school. However, the truth is, sex education at school is rarely as comprehensive or personalized as the education your child will receive from you. More importantly, school can’t be the primary source of value-driven guidance about relationships and sexuality—that’s something only you can offer.

Why You, as a Parent, Are Key to Your Child’s Education

So, even if you're feeling unsure, I want to emphasize one crucial point: you are the right person to provide your child with sex education. No one cares more about your child than you, and no one has more influence over their choices. Even when they roll their eyes or say they don’t want to talk about it, you’re still the one who shapes their beliefs and decisions. This is because your influence as a parent is unmatched, especially when it comes to navigating tough conversations about sensitive topics like sex and puberty.

Taking the First Step: Reflect on Your Own Values

Before you start talking to your kids about sex and puberty, it's really important to take some time to reflect on your own values and experiences. What were your own sex education experiences like growing up? What did you learn that you want to pass down, and what would you change? Did you feel supported by your parents, or was there something you wished they had done differently?

This process helps you not only feel more prepared but also allows you to tailor your message to your child’s needs and your family’s values.

The Clarify Lesson Series: Tailored, Values-Driven Support

This is where Clarify Sex Education comes in. I’ve created the Clarify Lesson Series, which offers step-by-step guides, reflection exercises, and video lessons to help parents like you deliver personalized, values-driven sex education to your kids. The goal is to create comfortable, regular conversations that grow with your child’s changing needs.

The Clarify series gives you the resources to confidently approach difficult topics and answer tricky questions—whether they’re about puberty, consent, or the emotional aspects of relationships. You can learn to have these conversations in a way that feels authentic to you, grounded in your values, and supportive for your child.

Conversation Scripts to Make the Talk Easier

If you’re struggling with how to start the conversation, here are a few scripts that can help. Remember, it’s not about having one “big talk”—it’s about building a relationship of openness and trust with your child. These are just starting points, and you can adjust them as you see fit.

When to Talk About Puberty

Script:
“Hey [child’s name], I’ve noticed that you’re getting older and your body is starting to change. Puberty can be a lot to understand, but I want you to know that I’m here to talk about anything, whether it’s how your body is changing or questions you might have about growing up. We can talk whenever you’re ready.”

Why this works: This script opens the door to a conversation without pressure. It acknowledges the changes and gives your child the chance to ask questions at their own pace.

Talking About Sex

Script:
“I know this can be a little awkward, but it’s really important that we talk about sex. There’s a lot of information out there, and it can be hard to know what’s true. I want you to know you can come to me with any questions, whether they’re about relationships, consent, or anything else.”

Why this works: This script normalizes the conversation and makes it clear that it’s okay to ask questions. It also opens the door for ongoing communication, so it doesn’t feel like a one-time-only discussion.

Talking About Sexting or Peer Pressure

Script:
“Have you heard about people sending pictures or messages on their phones that they shouldn’t? I just want you to know that you can always come to me if you’re unsure about anything like that. You deserve to be respected, and I want to make sure you feel safe and empowered in your relationships.”

Why this works: This approach takes the focus off your child and instead opens up the conversation about what their friends might be doing. It also reassures them that they can always turn to you if something feels wrong.

Why It’s Important to Make These Conversations Regular

Instead of saving these talks for just one big “talk,” it’s important to make conversations about sex and relationships a regular part of your parenting routine. One great way to do this is to make time for one-on-one conversations where you check in with your child regularly. This allows the conversations to feel less like a lecture and more like a natural part of your ongoing relationship.

Another great strategy is to make it about someone else. For example, you could bring up a conversation about peer pressure or sexting without focusing on your child directly. Ask them if they’ve heard about something happening at school or if they know any friends who might be struggling with these issues. Then, you can gently ask for their thoughts, share your own beliefs, and move into the values-based conversation about healthy relationships.

Offering Support Beyond Just Information

The truth is, you’re not just giving them information about sex—you’re giving them a foundation for their future relationships. The key here is open communication and the ongoing message that you are the first person they should come to for support. When you give your child factual, science-based information in a safe environment, you not only arm them with knowledge but also demonstrate that you’re always available to talk about difficult subjects.

How Clarify Sex Education Supports Parents

With Clarify Sex Education, you don’t have to do it alone. I offer parent guidebooks that help you reflect on your own experiences and values, along with videos and lessons designed to offer your child factual, foundational sex education. These resources are specifically created to make the conversations about sex and puberty feel less intimidating, while giving you the tools and confidence to talk openly with your child.

By using the Clarify series, you can provide personalized support that fits your child’s unique needs. Plus, with regular check-ins and an open door for more conversations, you’re giving your child a safe space to come to you with any questions they have in the future.

The Real Impact of Talking to Your Kids About Sex

At the end of the day, the real difference in these conversations is you. You are the one who will shape your child’s understanding of healthy relationships, boundaries, and sexual health. And even when they roll their eyes or act like they’re not interested, remember this: your influence matters more than you think. It’s not just about teaching them facts—it’s about building a relationship of trust and support that lasts a lifetime.

So, why not take the first step today? Download my free starter bundle or dive into the Clarify Lesson Series to get started on this important journey. The conversations you have today will lay the foundation for your child’s future relationships, and together, we can make sure they have the knowledge and confidence to make healthy decisions in their lives.