Christians Don’t Have to Teach Abstinence to Be Faithful: The Power of Factual, Empowering Sex Education

Yes, I said it—Christians don’t have to teach abstinence to still be good Christians. Now, before you start wondering if I’ve lost my mind, let me explain. In my experience growing up in the church, working in the church, and now teaching sex education both in religious and non-religious communities, one thing is clear: when it comes to abstinence-only sex education, there’s a serious problem. And that problem is the absence of information.

Let me break it down for you. When we teach kids to be abstinent without giving them a full, open, and honest education about their bodies, how they work, what to expect during puberty, how to care for themselves, and how to navigate hormones and emotions, we leave them in the dark. And trust me—being in the dark doesn’t help them make better decisions. In fact, it does the opposite.

The truth is, the more a child knows, the better decisions they will make.

The Truth About Abstinence-Only Education

I know the idea of teaching kids about sex outside of the context of abstinence can be controversial in some Christian circles. But here’s the thing: teaching abstinence alone—without the crucial facts and information about their bodies and relationships—leaves kids ill-equipped to handle the challenges and changes that come with growing up. And that’s where things get tricky.

We all know that adolescence is a time of rapid change. Kids experience emotional and physical growth that can be overwhelming. When they aren’t given the tools to understand these changes, or the knowledge to navigate them responsibly, they may turn to peers, the internet, or media for answers. And we all know that those sources of information can be less than helpful, to say the least.

But here’s the good news: when you give kids the knowledge they need about their bodies, relationships, and boundaries, they are far more likely to make responsible, informed decisions. And that’s not just me saying it—this has been proven time and time again through research.

Empowering Kids with Information: It Actually Works

Studies have shown that when kids have access to comprehensive, factual sex education, they are less likely to engage in risky behavior. They’re also more likely to wait longer to have sex, to be in healthier relationships, and to make decisions that protect their bodies and their futures. And guess what? They’re also less likely to contract sexually transmitted infections (STIs), experience unintended pregnancies, or get caught in abusive relationships.

Now, I know what you’re thinking—“But won’t giving them this information encourage them to act on it sooner?” The answer is a resounding no. In fact, the opposite is true. The more a child knows, the better they can make decisions that honor their bodies, their beliefs, and their values.

Think about it this way: when we empower kids with the responsibility of understanding their bodies and relationships, and we treat them as capable of making healthy, responsible decisions, they often rise to the occasion. When kids know why waiting is important, and they understand the physical and emotional aspects of sex, they’re much more likely to respect their bodies and their values.

Why Abstinence-Only Education Falls Short

The biggest flaw in abstinence-only education is that it teaches kids what not to do without giving them the why or the how. It’s all about restrictions, rules, and fear of consequences, but it doesn’t equip kids with the actual tools they need to make healthy, responsible choices.

When we don’t teach kids about consent, boundaries, relationships, sexual health, and emotional well-being, we leave a massive gap in their education. Without this knowledge, kids may find themselves in situations they’re not prepared for, simply because they didn’t understand the full picture.

That’s why I’m such a big advocate for comprehensive, factual sex education. It’s about equipping kids with the knowledge and understanding they need to make informed decisions—not just avoiding risky behavior but also understanding why those behaviors might be harmful and how they can take care of themselves.

The Power of Parent Support in Sex Education

But here’s where it gets even better: in my program, we don’t just focus on teaching kids—we also focus on empowering parents. The partnership between parents and kids is key. Kids who know they have the support and guidance of their parents are much more likely to make healthy decisions. They don’t feel isolated or alone in this process; they know they can talk to their parents about their questions, concerns, and feelings.

This is one of the most important parts of my program: parent support. When parents are equipped with the tools and knowledge to have open, honest, and ongoing conversations about sex, it makes all the difference. It helps kids feel supported and empowered, knowing they’re not facing these challenges on their own.

The Bottom Line: Knowledge is Power

So, can you be a Christian and teach your kids more than just abstinence? Absolutely. In fact, I’d argue that teaching kids about sex in a way that’s grounded in facts, love, and respect for their bodies is one of the most responsible things you can do as a parent. It’s not about pushing them into situations they’re not ready for; it’s about giving them the tools to make healthy, informed decisions.

Sex education doesn’t have to be about fear, shame, or guilt. It can—and should—be about empowering kids with knowledge, confidence, and respect for themselves and others. And when we give our kids that foundation, they’re not only more likely to make better decisions, but they’re also more likely to honor their bodies and their faith.

So, let’s throw out the outdated idea that abstinence-only education is the only way to teach our kids. Instead, let’s give them the facts they need to make informed, healthy decisions that honor their bodies, their values, and their beliefs.

Ready to get started? I’d love to help you navigate these conversations with your kids and equip you with the resources you need. Let’s build a foundation of trust, respect, and knowledge for the next generation.