Talking to Your Kids About Sex: What Your Childhood Can Teach You

As a parent, the idea of sitting down to talk to your kids about sex can feel daunting. Maybe you’re nervous about saying the wrong thing or worry you won’t know how to explain certain topics. But one of the best things you can do when talking to your kids about sex is to remember your own childhood. Think about the things you wish you had known, the stuff that left you feeling confused or unprepared, and the moments where you really could have used someone to sit down and explain things to you.

Have you ever thought about how different things might have been if someone had just told you certain truths along the way? What would it have been like if someone had shared those awkward, eye-opening experiences with you instead of leaving you to figure it out alone? If you take a step back and think about that, you’ll realize that you’re probably the best person to have these conversations with your kids. Your experiences can help guide them, and you'll find that you have a lot more in common than you might think.

Think Back to Your Own Childhood: What Did You Wish You Knew?

Remember that first kiss? Was anyone able to prepare you for how wet it would be? Or how it might feel like there’s a ton of pressure to “do it right,” even if you’re not sure what “right” even means? Maybe you wish someone had told you about those awkward body changes in middle school, or about how to handle relationships and crushes without getting lost in the drama. What would you have given to have someone give you real, honest, and supportiveguidance on all of those things?

As parents, we sometimes forget that our kids are navigating the same confusing waters we did. They’re dealing with many of the same awkward experiences, emotional roller coasters, and challenges. But unlike us, they have the benefit of having you—a loving and supportive adult—who can help them understand what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what they can do about it.

Use Your Own Experiences to Relate to Them

The good news is that your childhood experiences don’t have to be a barrier between you and your kid—they can actually be a bridge. You know exactly what it’s like to be in their shoes, so use that to your advantage. When you can relate to their experiences, share a story or two (in an age-appropriate way, of course), and let them know that you understand what they’re feeling. This makes the conversation feel real and authentic, not like a lecture or something to be feared.

For example, instead of just saying “It’s normal to feel nervous about a first kiss,” try sharing your own experience. You might say something like:

• “I remember being nervous about my first kiss because I had no idea what to expect. It felt awkward and exciting all at the same time, and it didn’t go how I imagined, but I learned that it’s okay to feel unsure. You don’t have to get it perfect, and you’re not alone in those moments.”

When you’re relatable and open about your own experiences, it breaks down barriers and creates a space where your child feels safe to ask questions or share their own feelings. It also makes it clear that everyone has questions about these topics—they’re not alone, and they don’t have to figure it all out by themselves.

Relating to Your Child Helps Build Trust

Being relatable helps build trust, and that’s essential for having successful, open conversations about sex. If your child knows you’re not just preaching at them but actually engaging with them in a way that shows you care and understand, they’re much more likely to listen and take the information to heart. It lets them know that they can come to you with anything—whether it’s about their changing bodies, relationships, or anything in between.

Your goal isn’t to scare them, lecture them, or make them feel uncomfortable about sex; it’s to offer them a foundation of knowledge, empathy, and understanding that will guide them through their own experiences. When you share your stories, you’re showing them that it’s okay to be imperfect, to have questions, and to make mistakes—because that’s all part of growing up.

How Clarify Sex Education Can Help You Have These Conversations

If you’re not sure where to start or feel nervous about diving into the specifics of sex education with your kids, Clarify Sex Education is here to help. My program provides factual, science-based information in an easy-to-understand format that both you and your child can feel comfortable with. The videos give your kids the foundation they need, and your job as the parent is to take that foundation and add your own values and personal insights to the conversation.

With the Clarify bundle, you get a step-by-step guidebook that will help you navigate conversations about puberty, relationships, consent, and more. It gives you all the tools you need to talk to your child about sex in a way that feels natural, empowering, and supportive. You’ll find that with the right resources and a little guidance, these conversations can actually bring you closer to your child and strengthen your relationship.

Take the First Step

No matter how old your child is, it’s never too late to talk to them about sex. By reflecting on your own childhood and using that insight to relate to your child’s experience, you’ll make the conversation feel less intimidating and more empowering for both of you. And when you approach these discussions with empathy, understanding, and knowledge, you’ll find that your child is more likely to make healthy, informed decisions about their body, relationships, and future.

If you're ready to start these important conversations, download the Clarify bundle today. Together, we can help you build a foundation of trust, openness, and confidence in your child’s understanding of sex and relationships.