Why Sex Education is Like Watching E.T. for the First Time

A few nights ago, we sat down with our girls to watch E.T.—one of those childhood classics that I remember watching when I was just too young to really understand it. I was so little back then that I remember being more freaked out by the scientist than by the alien himself. I couldn’t figure out why E.T. turned so white, and I definitely didn’t pick up on all the adult themes woven into the story.

Watching it again as an adult, I was struck by how much I had missed as a kid. The scenes that now stand out to me the most are the ones with the adults, especially the ones I’d completely overlooked as a child. When I was younger, I was so absorbed in the adventure of the children and their young alien friend that I missed the quieter, more vulnerable moments of the grownups. And let’s face it, as a child, I probably wouldn’t have been able to appreciate them anyway.

But the most unexpected part of rewatching E.T. with my own kids was how much the suspense affected them. The scientist’s jingling belt was enough to make them shudder, and the whole idea of him inspecting the house was genuinely unnerving for them. They were on the edge of their seats. I kept explaining the concept of suspense. "Suspense is when they show you some of the story, but not all of it. It’s what makes you wonder what’s going to happen next."

It hit me then—when a child has the whole story, it’s not scary anymore. If we had known from the start that the scientist was waiting his whole life to find an alien, that he wasn’t there to hurt E.T., the story wouldn’t have been nearly as tense. That was the magic of suspense: the unknown kept us intrigued. But once we knew the full picture, it wasn’t nearly as frightening.

And that’s really the way life works, too. The more you know, the less scary things are. Even when the news you get is difficult or unpleasant, knowing what’s coming allows you to prepare. And preparation is everything—it’s what makes us feel ready, strong, and in control. Knowing what’s coming, even if it’s challenging, removes a lot of the fear. You turn fear into action, and action is powerful—especially for a child.

Which brings me to sex education.

When we provide our kids with the information they need to understand puberty, sex, and relationships, it’s like giving them the "full story." And when kids know what’s coming, they’re not nearly as anxious when those moments actually happen. Imagine a girl getting her first period, or a boy having a wet dream—these things aren’t nearly as terrifying when they already know what to expect and how to handle it.

It’s the same concept. Knowing what’s coming—preparing—takes away the guesswork and the fear. Instead of anxiety, there’s confidence. Instead of embarrassment, there’s empowerment.

The research shows that kids who receive foundational sex education—early, and with the right information—end up making healthier decisions about their bodies and relationships. Knowledge truly is power.

So here’s the thing: we don’t have to make sex education into a suspense thriller. We don’t need to keep the truth hidden, and we don’t need to wait until our kids are on the edge of their seats, wondering what’s going on. Let’s give them the whole story up front. Let’s let them know about puberty and relationships before they experience them. Let’s tell them the truth, in a way that’s age-appropriate, so they aren’t left in the dark.

And, just like in E.T., once we’ve explained the full story, the only thing left to fear is ignorance.

Let’s take the mystery and the fear out of growing up, one conversation at a time.